Welcome to the site known worldwide as evilution.

My partner is a fan of the BMW mini. She’s owned quite a few. Currently she has a 2014 F56 Cooper S and a 2011 R60 Countryman Cooper S. The Countryman is starting to show its age and errors are starting to pop up on the dash so I picked up a stolen recovered 2019 F60 Countryman John Cooper Works from Copart.

The thieves had relayed the key, drove it away, ripped out the screen and the head unit, probably looking for the tracker. After many parts, wiring and remote coding by a very helpful American, it now drives and operates properly. It passed the MOT and is now away for servicing. I made 3 videos about the repairs and modifications on my YouTube channel if that’s something you’d be interested in watching.

As people have been asking questions not covered by the site, I have been adding a bunch of pages.

451 Steering wheel removal
OEM parts manufacturers
Hashtag 1 & 3 12v battery removal
453 EQ pre-conditioning using the key
450 Carpet removal
Bosch Highline reversing camera – work in progress
Bosch Highline screen calibration

Here are a couple more YouTube videos I made. I’m not going to be bothering making regular videos any more since very few people watch them, very very people subscribe, they take a long time to film and edit so ultimately it’s just not worth the effort. I’ll put that time and effort back into the website.

There’s been no YouTube videos, very few new pages, a few page updates and no working on cars. I had to have my cat put to sleep which was sad. He was incredibly old (nearly 20) and worn out. Thankfully he went downhill quickly so wasn’t suffering for long.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with a work project (my actual real job as a railway engineer) doing data collection and analysis. This is normally way outside of my remit but I wanted to show them that I’m not a brainless spanner wielding monkey (like most of the other staff) and that data is something I enjoy and specialise in.

I’ve also had an extra part of driveway concreted as it was just an area of earth that I would park on. It got muddy and just looked shit. Whilst I had that done, I also got them to add a 4m x 2.1m concrete pad for a flat pack shipping container. When this gets built, I should have a lot more room to store the long term shit that currently sits in boxes in the way. With the extra room in the workshop, I might be able to get some more stuff done.

My partner moved her horse to a new yard so there have been a few projects that needed doing since I’m obviously the DIY person.

This is what I got done in the last 30 days whilst everything else above was happening. I have all of December off work so hopefully I’ll have time to do more smart stuff.

451 Gearbox controller information
Hashtag 3 wheel cover removal

If you don’t follow the YouTube channel, here’s some of what’s been going on:

I still have Project 451 “Mr Spock’s Morning Wee” and I’ve heard nothing from BRAAP (the suspension lift company) and I’m done waiting on them. I’ll use it for a different project. I’m thinking about doing some videos about improving the audio system. Maybe i’ll do 3 different budgets for different wallets and abilities.

Roadster 3 lines on the speedo
Hashtag 1 cracked roof trim
Hashtag wheel arch liner
Hashtag 3 comparison list
Hashtag 5 comparison list
451 valve clearance checking
Roadster ABS unit water ingress
Hashtag key not working

This is where I give up on the Spock project and go off on a tangent.

I’m continuing to fix the Hashtag 3. There are ups and downs. I keep finding new things to fix.

After my last post I came down with something, possibly the black death. Whatever it was wiped me out for a month. In that time I did very little but I did buy the 1st UK write off #3 so I started tentatively fixing that. Project “Mr Spock’s Morning Wee” is on hold after getting it running as I had second thoughts about the modification plan I had, replacing the plan with something way more wild. Problem is I’m now dealing with an American company who are having issues supplying their own parts, so it could be a long wait.

The #3 is nearly complete in the real world, I’m just waiting for the chance to get it to the paint shop to paint the bumpers. The issue being that my partner fractured her foot and can’t drive for a while so I have no way to drop the #3 off and get back home. So I’ll have to wait until she can drive again. So in the mean time, I added a bunch of shit to the website.

453 – 6 Button Steering Wheel Retrofit
453 – Bosch Reversing Camera Brightness & Contrast
451 – Starter Motor Removal
451 – Starter Motor Brushes
451 – Starter Motor Solenoid
453 – 3 Lines On The Speedo
453 – Brake Master Cylinder Change
453 – Brake Vacuum Booster Change
Hashtag – steering tie rod change
453 – Electronic Controllers
453 – SAM Unit Failure

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel if you haven’t already.

I am now old. FACT!

I’ve had some busy weekends doing non-smart stuff because people are insisting that I socialise. I went to the BHP Show at Detling. There wasn’t a single smart car there. Then I went to Alton Towers just to find out that I can’t do rollercoasters any more. I felt worse and worse as I got off each ride. Then I went on The Smiler. I came off that absolutely done. I felt hungover until the next day. It absolutely destroyed me.

Then this coming weekend I have to waste an entire Friday because smart/Mercedes at Lakeside in Essex who used to be owned by Jardine Motors who were ok but they were bought by Stratstone who are utter fucking gobshites. I went onto their website to arrange a service on my #1. It wouldn’t accept my reg or VIN. So I drove to the dealer to explain that I needed a service, a safety recall and a firmware update.

I was told that they can’t arrange servicing at the dealer! What the actual fuck? I got given a shit scrap of paper with a phone number to call. So I spoke to smart via Whatsapp. They said they would contact Lakeside Merc and have them email me. 2 days later I got an email from smart Germany saying Merc Lakeside wouldn’t contact me and I’d have to phone the number. I feel like we have gone back in time 20 years.

So I phoned the number and was on hold for 10 minutes. Eventually got through and told them I need a service, recall and firmware update. They knew nothing about the recall and the updates are over-the-air (like I didn’t already know that). I work during the week like most people do. Guess what, they don’t do recalls on a weekend. (it takes 5 minutes to add the fix). I told them Friday and they said they had booked me in and were about to hang up. I asked when my slot was to be told “drop off at 8:30am and pick up at 18:00”. FUCK OFF! What the fuck am I supposed to do for over 9 hours? Absolute clowns. I will never use any Stratstone Mercedes dealers again for any servicing. I would rather drive well out of my way and use a different franchise who won’t treat me like a cunt.

SAM Unit Solder Repair.
Roadster Child Seat Frame.
Hashtag Wheel Alignment Specs.
Hashtag Headlight Alignment.
450 AC Compressor Removal.
453 Front End Facelift.
Roadster Model Guide.