451 Seat Covers

Did you know that smart actually sell official seat covers? Well, they do. Smart part number A 451 970 00 88. They are good quality but (as you can expect), not cheap. However, they appear on eBay sometimes. That’s where I got mine and they cost me about £30 at the time. That’s a far more reasonable price. They are a funky design too. They don’t match anything else as standard. Sweet!

Here are the standard seats in a car I bought. They weren’t bad but I think the driver must have had nob rot because there were suspicious stains around the cock and balls area of the driver’s seat.

Break out the covers and find the back cover that matches the seat you are starting with.

They are handed as there is a hole for the seat belt guide to pop through. The back slips over like a sock. You are left with a flap at the base that is pushed between the back and the seat base.

Push it through and pull it tight.

Fold it up the back of the seat and tuck it back under the seat cover. It holds onto itself using Velcro strips. You may find that the Velcro has a small fabric cover that needs removing 1st.

Here is the back all tucked in and Velcro’d in place.

Now to cover the drippy penis stains. Get 1 of the base covers. These are both the same. One end has 1 elastic strap with a hook, the other end has 3 elastic straps with hooks. Near the end with the single elastic strap is a transverse elastic strap from one side to the other.

The 1 elastic strap end faces forwards. The transverse strap goes around the seat base. Pull the cover on tight.

Pull the back of the seat cover towards the back of the seat and pull all 3 elastic straps between the seat join.

Pull the central strap out the back of the seat, fold it underneath and hook it to the hole shown.

Repeat this with the 2 side straps and hook those into the holes on either side of the previous one.

Go back to the front elastic strap and fold it under the seat.

There is a bar that it can hook over.

Adjust the seat covers so they sit straight and the fitting on that side is done. Repeat on the other side.

In very little time, the covers are fitted. It’ll take a couple of weeks for the creases to come out.

Smart Seat Cover Features

Being seat covers, they aren’t as feature-laden as your new phone but the base does have 2 front pockets. What the fuck you are supposed to use them for, I don’t know. Old men could put their balls in there I guess.

The back also has a pair of pockets for nonsense shit like those crappy folding umbrellas that women insist on having but never use. You could also put a small map in there. Yeah, like anyone still uses those!

These seat covers are designed to work in conjunction with the seat side airbags. So, in a crash, the airbags will deploy as expected so you survive however, the poo and wee you make won’t get on the seats.

Bonus.